Little Monsters (2019)

*. Shaun of the Dead is a movie that keeps looking better in the rearview mirror. I say that for two reasons.
*. First of all, I don’t think star Simon Pegg and (this will be shocking to many) director Edgar Wright have done anything as good since.
*. Second: zombie comedies, which one would have thought easy pickings, have not fared well. Zombieland and Zombieland: Double Tap were both lousy and The Dead Don’t Die was a dud (in fact I gave it my worst film of the year award for 2019). This despite the fact that all three movies had talent and money to burn. Meanwhile, the best thing about Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was their titles. Aside from that they were crap.
*. So I wasn’t going into Little Monsters with high hopes. This turned out to be a good thing, as it’s trash. Even without being disappointed I still couldn’t wait for it to end. The premise is the joke: a zombie outbreak in Australia threatens a kindergarten class visiting a petting zoo. So a juxtaposition of cute little kids and flesh-eating zombies. LOL.
*. The zombies, by the way, escape from a U.S. military base. Which struck me as having something bad to say about Americans abroad, but if there’s any deeper political message I missed it.

*. The rest is just a mess of clichés. The small group barricaded in a building while the zombies mill about outside. The presence of a jerky children’s entertainer named Teddy McGiggle (Josh Gad) who’s only looking out for himself. A pair of leads who fall in love. She’s Lupita Nyong’o, a teacher. He’s Alexander England as a dude who used to front a death metal band but who now busks for spare change. His girlfriend just dumped him and he’s sleeping on his sister’s couch before taking her son (his nephew) out on the doomed day trip.
*. I don’t know what was supposed to be funny here. The running gag that has the kids singing out “bad word” at every instance of profanity doesn’t work the first time, and it’s repeated quite a bit as there are a lot of bad words. Teddy McGiggle is too unpleasant to be humorous. England’s character, complete with droopy pants, is too big a loser for Nyong’o to bother with, but when you see them admiring how good they both are with kids and assessing fitness for breeding you know how it’s all going to go down.
*. I’m even more mystified at who the target audience was supposed to be. People who like zombie movies? Unlikely. People who like funny movies? They’d be out of luck. Maybe just people who like kids and singing along to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.”
*. As for me, I called peak zombie years ago and I’m starting to despair of there being any life, or life after death, left in the genre. Double-tap to the head and put it out of its misery already.

17 thoughts on “Little Monsters (2019)

  1. Bookstooge

    I hated Shaun of the Dead. Zombies, like any other plague, aren’t the place for levity. Grim, gritty, action and guns, that’s what is needed. Now, if the tykes were all loaded up with p90’s and all wore cute little red bandannas on their heads, then maybe I could laugh, but only once. Then I’d go back to complaining.

    I’m assuming the 2 lead characters are the ones in the first picture? That guy needs a haircut and a crash diet. I hear running for your life is good exercise…

    Reply
    1. Alex Good Post author

      Nope, the kids aren’t into toting guns in this one. In fact nobody is much. It’s Australia!

      Those are the two leads. It’s hard to run for your life when you’re wearing your pants droopy style. He has enough trouble climbing onto the roof.

      Reply
      1. Bookstooge

        Do they use boomerangs at least? I’d watch that clip.

        Get a haircut! Pull up your pants! Lose some weight! Get a job!
        Yeah, I could be that guy’s life coach no problem…

      2. Alex Good Post author

        No boomerangs either. I’m afraid you’d be disappointed in this. The main character would be a hard case to whip into shape too. He’s definitely stuck in a rut.

      1. Alex Good Post author

        I just don’t remember anything about that part of it. I remember the sheep because one of them gets killed. The rest of it is a blank. They probably had some little ponies or something.

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