Daily Archives: November 20, 2021

Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (2021)

*. This is how I began my notes on The Hitman’s Bodyguard: “The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a really unoriginal movie, which means there’s not much to say about it, since I don’t even think it can be said to represent much of anything.”
*. If that was true for the first movie, how much more true is it for the second? All I have to do is cut and paste.
*. Also from my earlier notes: “Ryan Reynolds can pretty much charm his way through anything. He just has that ‘it’ quality that immediately draws us toward him.” Well, he still has “it” here. In fact he was really spreading “it” around in 2021, with the release of this movie, Free Guy, and Red Notice. That’s playing the lead (or one of the leads) in three major studio productions in a single year, which goes to show where he sits on the current A list. The very top.
*. As for the movie . . . they had a lot of stars, a lot of money, and very little else. The story has Antonio Banderas as a Greek terrorist-billionaire-super patriot (I wasn’t sure which label fit best) looking to strike a blow at Europe’s power and communications grid because of the EU’s sanctions on Greece. Somehow the only way to stop him is for bodyguard Michael Bryce (Reynolds) to reunite with hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson) and Kincaid’s wife Sonia (Salma Hayek).
*. I guess they figured that was enough to go with. What follows are car chases down narrow but picturesque Italian streets, fights, and explosions. And wisecracks, none of which are funny. Morgan Freeman shows up for the final act but feels out of place. Banderas does a caricature bad guy. Hayek is as annoying as she was in the first movie, and there’s more of her, apparently because of audience demand. I think someone read things wrong on that one.
*. Released as The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard only in Australasia. What happened to the definite article for the rest of us?
*. His ubiquity may eventually put his charm to the test, but Reynolds still has enough here to keep the movie afloat, as Jackson clearly wasn’t even trying. So it does float. It’s not a great movie, in fact I think it’s pretty bad, but it’s watchable, especially for fans of light action fare.
*. Box office was middling, but that may not be enough to stop further instalments. Director Patrick Hughes: “It dawned on me during the first film that the endlessly suffering fool who is Michael Bryce must suffer endlessly, therefore we must endlessly make sequels.” Endless suffering it is then!