Daily Archives: July 19, 2021

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015)

*. I didn’t think much of Sharknado, but Sharknado 2: The Second One was a little better, giving me some hope that the series was finding its stride and the series was on the rise.
*. With Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! these hopes were cruelly dashed. The humour is broader, but less funny. Even the novelty chainsaws feel played out. There are more cameos, and more faces I didn’t recognize. Who are these 10-minute celebs? The effects are, incredibly, worse than what we got in the previous film.
*. I’m not not even going to bother going over the plot. Basically Fin (Ian Ziering) is back to stop a mass of sharknados from combining and destroying the entire Eastern Seaboard. This involves him reuniting with Nova (Cassie Scerbo), his almost girlfriend from the first film, and his father, played by David Hasselhoff. The climax has him fighting sharks in space. Meanwhile his pregnant wife April (Tara Reid) is about to deliver a baby.
*. This is a terrible movie that I didn’t find entertaining even for a minute. There’s literally nothing to enjoy about it at all. Tara Reid may be the worst actor of her generation. I actually felt sorry for Bo Derek showing up and having absolutely nothing to do. Did she need the money that bad? I felt cheated in not seeing Ann Coulter (playing the vice president) being killed in some horrific fashion. The only interesting thing going on at all happened before the film started shooting. Apparently Donald Trump was going to play the president but then backed out when he started to think he wanted the job for real. Then, when Mark Cuban was cast as the Prez, Trump went into a rage and threatened to sue the producers. Oh what might have (and what might not have) been!
*. I assume the people who made this movie found it all amusing, as they went on to make more. But the joke is on anyone who wasted their time watching it. So laugh at me, I deserve it. The rest should be silence.