Hey! That’s my line, Margot! And I don’t think you’re sincerely concerned about comfort anyway. But then, that seems to be a theme in this week’s quiz. Let’s meet some people who are in the wrong chair, at the wrong time.
See also: Quiz the thirty-third: Are you seated comfortably? (Part one).
The correct answer is Margot Robbie in Terminal. What do I win?
I dunno. What was the question?
I identified the picture. It’s Margot Robbie in Terminal.
*sigh* The header picture is not really part of the quiz. Which is why I often give a clue. You receive no points. You do not pass Go and collect $200. You don’t get the set of steak knives. You may qualify to have your name put in a draw for a copy of the Tron videogame. Best I can do for you. I hope you held on to your original IntelliVision console.
I won, everyone knows I won by a landslide. Now, I just need you to find me 25 correct answers, and that would be a good thing for you to do, everyone would be admiring you, but if you don’t, well, that would be a crime, and you would be very sorry.
Is there an actual light cycle with the game?
Oh, Marathon Man, Clockwork Orange, Brazil, that’s three, Ok, what do I win now?
Keep going. You’re 0 for 3. If you get to 0 for 25 that video cartridge will practically have your name on it!
I know my answers are right. Or do I have to guess the order that you watched them? Or what you had for lunch each day?
Your answers are all wrong. You seem to be stuck on the wrong quiz. I can’t help you out any more than I have. Am I responsible for the deficiency of Scottish schools in teaching reading comprehension? There’s only so much I can do.
Bad Times at the El Royale, it’s just too easy…
Only a graduate of the Caledonian educational system could consider 20% of answers, inadequately referenced, to be winning. I’m off to visit me mum, leaving you to reflect on all the ways your life went wrong.
Haha, you know I’m right! Run off to mummy, salty tears still in your eyes!
You shouldn’t be hard on moms. What if yours knew what you were doing all day in the basement? She might take away your Internet privileges.
More hearsay and rumours, you have no hard evidence of any crimes, take it to the Feds if you do, nothing to hide!
I said nothing about a crime. Just not the kind of stuff you’d want your mom to know about.
You leave my mom out of this!
Don’t yell! She’ll come downstairs and see what you’re up to. Then it’s no more Internet for you!
I’m not rising to this. Shouldn’t you be screenshotting torture sequences or something?
I’m finishing the first draft of Critters v. Leprechaun. Which you are supposed to be arranging the funding for.
Great, send me your bank details so I can arrange a transfer…
Do you even have a logo yet? Locations scouted? Fraggle’s ready to start filming.
Which one is she playing?
Fraggle is directing. I’m writing. Booky is the human star, the ordinary man caught between the warring factions (basically borrowing the Alien vs. Predators template here, but no need to reinvent the wheel). You need to start showing up at some of the planning meetings. You’re going to lose your producer credit though if you don’t show up with the money. And don’t blow it all on some fancy corporate logo either.
Ooh OK I can do that! I have a tripod.
You were the obvious choice to direct! No biggy to go from photography to cinematography. And don’t worry about the tripod. With the money Dix is lining up you’ll have dollies and cranes and drones . . . the whole works.
I am beyond excited!
I’ll need your bank details asap, or the whole thing collapses…
Wait, who is writing the music? This IS a musical, right?
Don’t think Critters can sing.
You want singing, dancing critters, I’ll get them, the best you’ve ever seen!
It’s Alex’s call, he’s writing it.
That is not how directing works. Alex is a cog in our machine. I could fire you both and replace you if I don’t think you’re up to it. Critters Can’t Sing is our new working title.
It’s in the contract. Being a writer means I get final cut and I don’t want singing Critters. This ain’t the Muppet movie. I know what you really want is some Scottish techno band to do the score, and I’m not averse to that. But aside from the Lep doing a bit of rap, that’s it for singing. Now have you got the mock-ups of the CvL posters done yet?
Mogwai will be doing the temp track. But the investors were promised a musical, and as writer, you are bought and paid for. So no complaints. I’ll need five songs for the critters, and a great rap track for the Lep. If you can’t write them, just bring me a story and I’ll farm the rest out. But I need a big song, like Tomorrow from Annie. Can you dig it?
Oh here we go again. Dix’s takeover dot com. Sigh.
It’s like he’s got DeMille syndrome or something.
By the way, do you need my beret to wear for directing?
Oh yes s’il vous plait, I look spiffing in a hat.
You’ll do what you told. And if anyone asks, you’ve had express orders from Dix.
There is a choice Geordie phrase, that I usually refrain from using, but in this case I’ll relent, haway and shite yersel Bunty.
Sorry for the profanity Alex, but no more of this buffooneric abuse can I take! (Brings hand dramatically to forehead and exits stage left).
This isn’t the olde days of the studio system, Dix. You can’t treat the talent like that! Now we’re going to offer her more points to come back. You’re making a royal hash of this.
Right, Alex, this is your big chance to direct! We took a big subsidy for hiring a female director, so you’ll need to do this in drag, OK? Alexa?
I have time commitments that would push back filming too long. I’m afraid you’re going to have to sign off on whatever Fraggle demands now. Just having her own trailer isn’t going to cut it. You’re going to have to learn how to make those fancy breakfasts that she likes and speak in a French accent.
The only reason we employed her was to get that subsidy for a female director. So we’ll keep her name on it and just direct ourselves, how hard can it be? Right, get these pages over pronto! I want to laugh, to cry…
I won’t have my potentially award-winning script destroyed by hacks and amateurs. Plus we need her to give this material a distinctly European flair and sensibility, an evocative moodiness that transcends all the other films in the series. You did sign off on her filming this in black and white, right?
The previous guy, Fincher, wanted to do it black and white, but I fancy 3D. Who are we caddying as the Lep? Still Jared Leto?
The boat on 3D has sailed. Leto has signed on. He was sounding reluctant, but I told him Joaquin was waiting in the wings to steal another Oscar.
Great, this could be a big break for him. I see maybe the critters crash land in a house where the Lep is in conflict with the granddaughter of Jennifer Aniston. A turf war breaks out between the Lep and the Critters, I see him using his go kart and his pogo sticks for self defence. Kind of like First Blood. a pile of dead critters, The Lep, sitting above them, like Liam Neeson in The Grey. Close up of something written on a post-it attached to his hat, the word ‘Why?’
That’s just the opening scene. Leto literally couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
The Parallax View, Live and Let Die, We Summon The Darkness, The Quiller Memorandum. Harley Quinn. I just aced your quiz again! So much winning! Your denial only makes your tears even sweeter!