Scarecrow Gone Wild (2004)

*. Worst. Scarecrow. Ever.
*. The “star” of the first Scarecrow movie was Tiffany Shepis, a name not many people will recognize but someone who does have a following as a scream queen in low-budget horror efforts. The star (I think I can fairly say it this time without quotation marks) of Scarecrow Slayer was Tony Todd, a name and face most horror fans will recognize from Candyman and the Final Destination movies.
*. The star, or “star,” of Scarecrow Gone Wild is “UFC Hall of Famer” Ken Shamrock. Unlike Shepis and Todd, Shamrock is not an actor. Nor, outside of fans of MMA, is he as well known. That said, he does as well in the acting department as anyone else in the cast here. This gives some idea of the trajectory the Scarecrow franchise followed, even after starting out at the bottom.
*. When I call this the worst Scarecrow ever I’m not just talking about the worst Scarecrow movie. The Scarecrow himself is the worst ever. For some reason he’s just a guy wearing an obvious scarecrow mask, of the kind that pulls down over your head, flaring out around the neck. What gives? The franchise had switched to a different production company so maybe they were trying to cut costs. I don’t know. I don’t care.
*. The gore effects are worthless. When people are disembowelled their guts just sit on top of their stomachs in a neat pile. Meanwhile, the rest of the movie consists of a lot of annoying bickering among young people (Shamrock’s part is little more than a cameo). There are some boobs on display though, and a scene where a couple of the jocks piss all over the face of a guy they buried in sand. No joke. This really happens.
*. I thought the title was kind of cute, conjuring up thoughts of the Scarecrow going crazy at Fort Lauderdale during Spring Break, but all we end up getting is a quick trip by the gang to a deserted beach for a party that the Scarecrow crashes. Ho-hum. I wonder just how low the budget was on this one. I mean, nothing here looks like it could have cost very much.
*. No more flips and tumbling rolls. And the Scarecrow doesn’t speak. But he does whistle. And he can swim. Figure that out.
*. The ending was a bit unexpected, though I wouldn’t go so far as to call it interesting. Sadly, by that time I was so bored and frankly angry with Scarecrow Gone Wild that I just wanted it to end. Not caring what the end was, so long as some end might be, to paraphrase Browning’s Child Roland.
*. Absolute garbage. Bad without coming close to being so bad it’s good. Luckily, this seemed to be it for the man of straw. At least we can hope.

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