*. How could it be so bad? Simon Pegg and Nick Frost doing horror comedy. Michael Sheen and Margot Robbie sticking their faces in. An interesting enough premise, with a fracking company opening a gateway to hell on the grounds of a British public (private) school, releasing a bunch of carnivorous monsters. When I saw a copy of the DVD at the library I was surprised I’d never heard of it.
*. I shouldn’t have been surprised. The title should have been a giveaway. Is that “z” supposed to be funny? Whatever you want to call it, Slaughterhouse Rulez disappeared almost immediately upon its release. And for good reason. Despite the comic talent involved there isn’t a single smile to be found in the script. Nor is there anything scary, or funny, about the monsters, who seem to have been borrowed from Ghostbusters. Bridges between action sequences are covered by musical cues. It’s easy to stay at least half an hour ahead of the plot all the way through. There are some really heavy-handed political messages about class and homophobia. Upper class twats looking down on the plebs! Repressed homosexuals bullying queers! I hope the monsters have the good sense to kill all the right people! (They do.)
*. I just can’t think of anything good to say about this one. You see all the jokes coming and you just watch them fall flat again and again. A complete waste of a talented cast and a mid-size budget. Not even as good as Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. Not even as good as The Dead Don’t Die (my “worst movie” pick for 2019)! I guess writer-director Crispian Mills deserves most of the blame, but Pegg and Frost (whose production company was behind this) should have known better and helped out more. Instead they’re only passengers on this train wreck.