Feed the Gods (2014)

*. Just don’t expect much. I mean, this is credited as “Braden Croft’s Feed the Gods,” and if you’re wondering who Braden Croft (the writer-director) is, you’re not alone. On the DVD box cover his name is misspelled as “Branden Croft.” That’s not a good sign.
*. This is basically a very cheap Canadian horror production, shot in British Columbia without much in the way of effects and no gore to speak of. Ostensibly a monster movie, the Bigfoot creature isn’t even seen until the very end, and then only for a few seconds in some closeups.
*. Various paths it might have gone down are hinted at, but then not pursued. Three young people (two brothers, Kris and Will, and Kris’s girlfriend) head off to a remote town to find their parents. Will is an aspiring documentary filmmaker and has a camcorder device that gives us some shaky-cam shots, but this isn’t a found-footage film and indeed nothing is done with the POV angle at all. Then there’s the town with the guilty secret, but this isn’t developed either and we never meet any of the townspeople aside from the three guys who may be in charge. We also never learn how the lottery system is supposed to work.
*. Perhaps the biggest road not taken, however, is that of horror-comedy. I’m still undecided about this. Was it meant to be a comedy? The muscular Will (Shawn Roberts), who often gets to pose his “steroid jacked” body in a wifebeater, is cast mainly in the role of comic relief, speaking in a faux-German/Werner Herzog accent and generally being a giant scaredy cat. He even gets to kill a total of four (four!) people, totally by accident! That had to be a joke, right?
*. I don’t know. If it was meant to be a comedy I can only say that there’s nothing funny about it. But it doesn’t really work as a horror movie either. There’s no suspense, and only a plethora of jump scares, all of which involve someone coming up behind someone else and giving them the old hand-on-the-shoulder routine.
*. The idea is kind of interesting, sort of like an episode of The X-Files stretched out to (barely) feature length. But nothing is really explained. How did the business with the Passover paint work? What has happened to Will at the end?
*. I usually don’t jump on continuity errors, and in a movie like this it’s not really fair, but if you’re going to have a big scene with one of the main characters getting his face shaved with a straight razor you can’t have him in closeup a few minutes later with a couple of days’ worth of stubble on his chin.
*. This isn’t a bad movie, but it doesn’t have a lot to work with and despite its short running time it has a slow build that doesn’t lead to much of a climax. I end up watching a lot of low-budget Canadian horror films, and some of them have managed to impress. Afflicted and Black Mountain Side, for example, which came out around the same time as this. But Feed the Gods doesn’t quite hit the mark.

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